Took a Me Day

Well I'm home today. I had a feeling I might be since I couldn't seem to fall back asleep last night. I have a scratchy throat and I'm just worn out mentally and physically. I feel like I typed that before not so long ago. I think the difference this time is I know what to do for myself a little better than I use to.

So I got the kids on the bus this morning then I made myself a nice cup of hot tea and a bowl of cream of wheat with pumpkin, raisins and nuts and I sat in front of the TV and watched my taped Dr. Oz shows for about a hour while I enjoyed my breakfast. It felt good to be in a quiet house and know I could crawl back into the warm bed in a few minutes and not be bothered. Which is just what I did.

I just woke up. I called the school so the kids can get dropped off here instead of my work and then I called Mike. A part of me wishes he had stayed home too. I think we both could use some time together. Usually weekends are when we have some *wink wink* lol and this weekend with all the stuff going on we were just way to tired for anything lol.

I just fixed myself some lunch. I'm eating some left over black bean chili and boy does it taste good. I think if I can get some ambition I'm going to go clean the kitchen and make some soup and protein bars for the week. With working at the cottage till after 5pm yesterday I was just to worn out to cook last night.

Marie has swim lessons tonight I might just have Kevin take her. He's grounded from the car but I figure if it's to do something for me I might let him drive once in awhile. All he can say is no.

He conveniently said he can't find his cell phone when I asked for it yesterday. I don't know if it's a lie or not but he seems to tell me that often when I want to see it. I'm guessing he wants to either make sure it doesn't have any msgs on it first or maybe he really did leave it at the girl's house the other night. Anyway, I told him I wanted it today for sure.

I feel like I just have so much on my mind these days and I can't stop worrying about it all. I have therapy on Wednesday so I'm hoping that will help and he will give me some ideas of how to stay mentally calm in all this. Kevin has therapy on Thursday so I'll probably let him drive that day so he can get there otherwise I'll have to take off early which after taking off today I really can't do. Plus Nicholas has an Orthodontist appt tomorrow morning so I'll have to take off for that too. I probably should have went to work today. Sigh.

I'm kind of actually looking forward to going to Kentucky next week. It will be nice to just get away for a few days from the grind here. I'm hoping I can turn my mind off and just relax a little. I have to think about do I want to try to run off with Mike or not too. It would be nice. Maybe if nothing else we can go out one evening alone.

I know money is going to start getting tighter here too with no renter. Nothing I can do about that though it just is what it is. Hopefully we can get the stuff done over there and put an ad out. See here I go already worrying and haven't even finished this post lol.

The one thing I'm grateful for is I don't seem to turn to food like I use to. I still have times of wanting to eat the anxiety away but it's not like it use to be. I would never think to go out and get a pint of haagen dazs let alone 2 pints. I hope I can always stay that strong. I'm out of sugar free fudgesicles though so I do need to go get myself some of those. They are what I turn to now when I need something.

I had plans of going to the gym tonight but my body is just worn out. I'm not sure I could do much of anything. Maybe I'll have myself another nap and see how I feel after that. I wish I had more ambition today but I really am just bone tired. Thankfully my fingers are feeling a little better today and my knees.

Well I've done enough complaining today lol.

Till tomorrow...