Well it's almost Easter already, seems like time is flying by. I took today off, not feeling very well, have a tinge of a sore throat coming on and was just feeling exhausted last night and this morning. Feels good to just be home relaxing and doing what I want. The kids are home with me so Marie and I will probably venture out in a bit to do some shopping. Have things to get for the TOPS convention next week and also for Easter and my great niece's Birthday which is tomorrow.
We will be heading up to Baltimore for the party so looking forward to seeing my niece and great niece, hard to believe she's turning 2 already. I'm not sure if my mom will be at the party or not. I would volunteer to pick her up but my niece doesn't really want her there so it's my sister pushing for that yet my sister isn't going because I'm coming. All the darn family dysfunction, just wish it could all be easier. I know we will have a good time no matter what though.
So the gym and online contests are still going well. I'm back to 181 lbs as of this morning so that's an 18 lb lose in just 6 weeks. Sometimes I don't understand myself. Just seems not all that hard for me to drop a few lbs when I put my mind to it. I sure know how to lose weight so not sure why I can't learn how to keep it off easier. I have said it many times and heard it from others about it being giving up sugar. So once the contests are over I'm going to continue not having sugar. I will allow myself a Birthday treat (not at home) and maybe a few other times through the year but I'm really going to give it a good effort to stay clear of it. I find that pizza or the occasional fast food doesn't trigger the "crazed eating" mind like sugary treats do. So for now that's my plan.
Will I win the gym contest? Well I don't know, the smaller girl is still ahead of me by like 0.2% and there is another larger woman that is less than a % behind so we will see. Honestly at this point if I don't win I will be fine with it. I think the big thing that has happened for me is I've met some really nice people during the challenge and feel like I've made some lasting friendships at the gym. I'm hoping after the challenge that we can continue working out sometimes. I think it's what's been missing for me.
Mike is in a bit of a funk these days. He's drifted back over 300 and that's always scary for both of us. He hasn't been going to the gym this week either. I hope he can get himself back on track. He does see when he goes to the gym at least 3 times a week he at least can maintain and even lose a bit. He's been eating out a lot more during the day too as I see him bringing his packed lunches back home. I noticed he didn't even take lunch today. I hope he can find his mojo again but I love him no matter what.
If I've realized nothing else through this 20 lb gain this past year it's that it's my self image I have to fix. I have to love myself just as I am today and really mean it. I need to look in the mirror and point out my good traits not always pick at myself. I need to realize how far I've come and that the person I am today is not the depressed, anxious, unhappy person I was 5 1/2 yrs ago. I'm healthy now and though I may not be a size 6 I am happy and content in my size 12 body. I know just loving the me of today will help push me to an even healthier me down the road if that's what I want for myself.
Well guess I better go get showered so Marie and I can get going.
Hope everyone has a very Happy Easter!!!
Till next time...