I can't hardly believe it's been 5 weeks already boy how time flies. It's been a busy 5 weeks for me for sure. Kevin, his girlfriend and her little girl have been with us 2 weeks now (feels like longer). Our graduation visit turned into a moving visit and that's what I did for Mother's day lol.
In our little 1500 sq foot house 7 people and one bathroom is a lot but we are managing. Poor nick is in the livingroom but that's probably not been a bad thing as he's spending more time with us that way. We've definitely been doing more family things and we do have dinner together almost every night which has been nice. The first week I felt like I was so out of my routine it was starting to bring back my anxiety but this week I adjusted things and I'm back to a more normal routine for myself.
I'm enjoy having them with us, it will be 2 more weeks till they can move to their new apt 4 hours from us. Having the little one has been sweet, she already calls me Nanny and is always so happy to see me. I had forgotten what it was like to have a 4 yr old around. She thinks I'm the magic cooking lady and as soon as I got in the door the other day she said "what's for dinner Nanny" lol, too cute.
Today her and her mommy helped me plant flowers and work in the yard, it was a very productive day and a nice bonding time for us. Tonight I asked C what could I cook for her as a special dinner to thank her and she seemed very surprised. Having spent her life in foster care I don't think she's use to having a family and I can see she's grateful for our acceptance towards her and her daughter. I think she's good for Kevin too.
While I was in NY for Kevin's graduation, which was wonderful btw I got to see Lori (findingradiance.com) and spend a few hours just chatting with her over coffee in one of her coffee spots :) She is always such a pleasure to be around I wish she lived closer as I'm sure I've said before. I know I would learn to ride a real bike for sure lol.
As for me, well with contests over I seem to have some what fallen back into old ways, though with more awareness of myself. I had my phone call with Tom yesterday too which was really great, he's so down to earth. I'm looking forward to his summer challenge and really do believe I will see a new me by the end of the 98 days in more ways than just a few more lbs down the scale. I think I am ready to let go of any more fears I have about regain as I know letting those fears go will help me to maintain. I do want a balance in my life and not for maintenance to feel like something I endure.
I know as long as I'm diligent I will be fine. Tom and I also talked about us just being people that needed the next big goal in front of us to push us to be our best and I really do believe that about myself.
My next big goal is to walk a marathon this year (Nov 10th) and training starts now. I think it is just what I need to push me through the summer challenge and also through any fears I do have. I know it won't be easy, I'm guessing I may have a few more good cries on my favorite road but I have confidence I will accomplish what I set out to do and I will be a stronger person for having done it.
I want to just comment on my comments especially with having been missing so long.
Carla, it's always wonderful getting a comment from you and I know you are right that fruit should be my sugar of choice always and only.
Jane, yes I was talking about you of course :) you are definitely right on having sugary things throwing some people back into cravings and obsessive hell, I have been there. I don't want a life time of that for myself. I don't know for sure if I can be a Norma, I'm guessing I'm more a Jane type but I also know I can't be to afraid of my actions as I am the one in control.
Suzy, hugs to you too.
Drazil, I always love your posts and need to get back to visiting you as you always make me laugh.
Lori, it was wonderful seeing you again so glad you made time for me even with vacation starting the next day.
Vickie, I do think I lost the weight far to quickly, it ended up being 22 lbs in 8 weeks but through the summer challenge I do plan on losing slower so that I don't have a relapse after it ends as I did somewhat this time. I'm still doing ok (up a few lbs) but want a more balanced 98 days than I had 49 days with these past contest. I know doing the contest isn't really the best way to go to drop more weight but for me I am competitive so putting something in my life like that does help me in a lot of ways. I really think I will see a me I've never seen before by the end of this next challenge. I agree that staying away from fat, sugar and salt is the best plan as I found myself substituting the other 2 for sugar and was trying to convince myself by saying "well your not eating sugary things" but of course we know that's just lying to myself as fat and salt too can be triggers. It's so true too about when we know better we do better and that when we don't, we don't feel good. I've appreciated your comments these past months they have been very helpful to me. I do look to people like you with more maintenance under your belt to help me.
Eric, thanks also!
Amanda, when I got your comment I went and took a look at your last many posts :) always enjoy reading what you have to say. So true that everyone in the contest were winners.
Amy, I wish it was easier to help others believe in themselves but so often they don't. I continue to try though and stay hopeful for them.
Debbie, yes so true you have to believe to achieve. I had set out to win both contest so that is definitely more proof that is true.
Caitlin, thanks haven't went and took a look yet but always cool to make a list :)
Well I've spent today digging in the dirt and I'm worn out. Tomorrow my niece (yes Kevin's sister) , her husband and little girl are coming to visit. It's been 3 1/2 yrs since the last time she was here so I'm excited. She plans on spending the night too so more time together which is great. I'm hoping she will come down more after this.
I went to see my mom last week too. It was a short but nice visit. Got to see my sister too which was nice since I hadn't seen either of them since January. My mom looked pretty good I thought. Kevin went with me too so they got to meet his girlfriend and the little one. I think that meant a lot to my sister (not Kevin's mom) since she hadn't seen him in a few years.
I feel in my heart I'm finding more peace with my family. I've actually been thinking about my father a lot lately. Not really sure yet what I want to do with that but I'm thinking on it as there usually is a reason when someone is on your mind.
Well I'm off to bed.
Till next time...